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She touches my erect penis through the fabric. As if examining its shape and size. Slipping in, a woman's slender fingers invade, warm and delicate, feeling comfortable... she touches 'me' directly.' The act of pulling down my pants is a chance for a man to open up as a man in a sexual situation. If this is not allowed, the shame will never go away. I continue to be toyed with, and in the end a sticky white thing begins to ooze out. But why does it make me feel so fulfilled... (Excerpt from Chapter 2 of "Awakening to Handjobs in Panties")