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I realized that I hadn't had a boyfriend for two years. I want a boyfriend, but I'm shy and I don't have much experience in love, so it's difficult. I wish there was a man who would lead me a little forcefully. Maybe because I think that, when I look at erotic books and sites, I always look at the hard stuff. I get excited when I see things like being tied up, hit, or forced, and I secretly enjoy being immersed in erotic things alone. But I still want a man to hold me tight and do it to me like I'm being raped. I mustered up the courage to apply, but I was nervous all the way until the shoot. I was nervous, but it's been a long time since I've had sex, so I wondered if it would be okay... But the actor led me quietly and gently, and although it was embarrassing, I felt relieved. I came in an embarrassing position as instructed, and the actor tied my hands behind my back. I was surprised when his penis popped out of my underwear with a loud noise, and I instinctively pulled away. He put it in my mouth and I tried to suck it, but I couldn't use my hands and I couldn't put any strength into my body, so I couldn't do it well. While I hesitated, he held my head down and pushed me in. I was shaking and couldn't breathe properly. He was pinching and poking me between his breasts, and I felt like I was going to give in to sex after such a long time, but the camera was pointed at me, and I was so embarrassed that I didn't know what face to make. But I was really excited, and even though it had been so long that I thought he might not go in, he went in smoothly. After that, it was so intense that I couldn't think of anything else. He asked me to put it in my pussy, and even though I was embarrassed, it felt so good.